SarahJo’s labor and birth…
I wish that I was finally about to tell you about a sweet easy birth as a lot of other births are. That is not what you are about to hear. No one can say that I did not try everything for such birth, although I did yoga, spinning babies, heavy chiropractic care, massage therapy, and everything else that I could think of. I am sure that these strengthening activities helped me, but not in how I was hoping. I have to come realize that I was meant to do things the hard way in this life, and maybe that’s why God gave me the stubbornness and the determination that He did. He knew that I would strongly need these traits. The reality is that I was due to have #4 right on my 38th birthday, which I’m sure you are aware of the advanced maternal age label already; I was also GBS+ in which I found a bit triggering, since I had not dealt with that before. I researched those topics, and it did not take me long to become comfortable in my choices there. Of course, we had to deal with a new curve ball. I dealt with Braxton Hicks, prodromal labor, or whatever you want to call it when you basically have annoying contractions for weeks! They were deeply uncomfortable. As I breezed past baby’s due date, my birthday, the birthday date that would have been super cool, a birth expo, and then hit 41 weeks, my nerves were wearing thin. We had started trying the inducing methods to bring on labor; nothing was happening. Fear started getting the best of me, and we decided to make an appointment with Dr. Bootstaylor for a biophysical ultrasound to check in on #4 for the following Monday. Dr. Bootstaylor assured me that since the heart tones and baby’s activity were still strong that we had nothing to worry about; he said he would be there if we needed him. I figured if I did not make the appointment, that baby would not come, so I went ahead and did it. It’s a Petty thing I guess…..
On Saturday, I was having the annoying cramps as usual when AdaRee and I decided it was time to go get mani pedis for fun. I kinda thought the contractions were getting real. Due to weeks of this prodromal labor, I had plenty of doubts. As we sat in the chairs talking, I noticed more of a pattern and wanted to see if that was the case. My phone died. I am pretty sure no one noticed the contractions until the lady said she hoped I had my baby soon. I laughed and responded with “hopefully tonight!” We walked outside; AdaRee and I did the miles circuit on the sidewalk, laughing about how silly we looked. We loaded up and drove the 2 miles to home. By this time, I knew the contractions were coming every 5ish minutes because of what we did in between them.
I could feel the excitement and anticipation as I took a quick bath. They were not slowing down! FINALLY!!! I told my birth team even while timing some more contractions, which were 5 minutes or less apart. The stupid app I was using to time them kept telling me to call an ambulance as they were getting closer together, which made me giggle. Knowing I have long labors, I didn’t want to call too early. Everyone said this baby would be the wild card, and I might catch #4 myself. I knew better. My first plan was to try and sleep, because I felt this baby was going to be born the next day. I tried to lay down, and it didn’t take 15 minutes for me to be back up and calling everyone. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep through these contractions. They were strong at this point, and this was it. There did happen to be a full moon out, by the way. I had called Caleb earlier; he took awhile to get home. As soon as he arrived, he started setting up our bed and the birth pool while I waited for our team to show up. I did have him to stop what he was doing and apply pressure to my lower back. At this point, I was thankful for the pain of real contractions in my lower back. Yes, I was wholeheartedly thankful for this pain to finally be real.
Christine made it there first. I must say that my favorite thing about her is how calm, peaceful, and patient she is. Her demeanor actually reminds me of Dr. Bootstaylor, because I swear that man could calm a storm at sea simply with his presence. You need people like that around you for birth, and these two people possess that shaman-like ability to bring peace into the room. I told her that I didn’t like the measurement of being able to talk through contractions, because I can; the whole night, I did exactly that. She quickly set up her midwifery things as Caleb continued to work on the pool. I did ask for a cervical check at this point to make sure that this baby was lined up well, because Jett was not. I needed to know then if I had major work to do. #4 was centered and lower than any of previous babies, and I was in active labor and progressing. Heck yes! This news had me pumped and ready! I knew I was about to get my zen birth finally! My doula and photographer (Dakota) were on their way, and we were able to set up everything before they got there. My doula was Erin. She was more than a doula to me, because I had met and befriended her about a year and 9 months prior. I had helped Erin plan an HBAC. I was her doula for the birth of her daughter almost exactly a year before. It was crazy how our pregnancies lined up so close, although a year apart. Erin knew exactly how to handle me in labor. Erin and Caleb swapped out helping me through contractions.
I did start out on the toilet as that helped my previous labors; this time, this method was not helping me labor. I was ready for the pool. Although I had hoped for a water birth, I was prepared for whatever direction labor led me. Caleb and my oldest daughter had decorated the living room with birthday decorations for my birthday, and we had left them up. Twinkle lights hung from the ceiling. We also lined the birth pool with them. We had birth affirmations hung there and in our bedroom. Once I finally slipped into the birth pool, I felt ready, energized, and prepared to do what it was going to take to birth my baby. As I worked through contractions, everyone took care of me. I did not have to worry about anything except focusing on what my body was telling me. I was not prepared for Jett’s birth, because I did not know what to expect. Since Jett’s birth, I actually thought that I was prepared to handle what laid before me. I was excited about this labor and mentally took on each contraction with soft delight. They tell you to make low noises during each contraction, and I had that right this time. I was actually listening to my body this time and letting it lead. I can admit now that I was terrified during Jett’s labor and moved through it like a deer in headlights. But not this time, I embraced it, which made me feel like I was a queen, goddess, or whatever you’d like to call it as I was in that birth pool embracing every contraction.
I had my husband, Erin, Christine, and Rebekah (another awesome midwife) quietly taking care of my every need while I was given the space to follow my instincts. I moved into numerous positions. I got in and out of the birth pool, even though that was where I was most comfortable. I moved back to the toilet at one point, and I could feel the pressure coming as I worked through a contraction there. I knew it was coming, and my water broke. I think I was complete within 4 hours of my labor actually starting. This was huge progress as I generally stall around 8 cms, but not this time. Everything I had done was paying off! I went back to the pool and started pushing, really pushing! It felt good to push in the pool. When I was pushing in the pool, I would look at Eliza’s picture above the fireplace or the birth affirmation that my mom wrote for Jett’s birth and remind myself that it should say threes time now. This helped me stay focused on the task at hand.
I stood with one leg up on the couch; that pushing felt good, but nothing was happening. I even tried on my side with one leg up in the air. I asked if that was weird or if they had seen anyone else doing that. I was reminded that everyone is different. The birth pool kept calling me though. We had to keep adding water to keep it warm, but everyone stayed on top of that for me. Again though, I hated being made to drink water constantly. I guess that’s part of it really. I’m pretty sure baby was blocking my bladder too, which didn’t help.
I was in the zone for hours; thank goodness, I had no concept of time. I did notice the sun was coming out; by this time, my energy was fading. Most moms push babies out in under two hours, and countless lucky ones don’t even push that long at all. Why me? Why did I have to work so freaking hard to birth my babies?!? I can’t do this. I simply can’t. I am ready to throw in the towel and go to that place that I really hate…. Clearly I had given it my all. Thankfully, no one told me exactly how long I had been pushing. Caleb piped in at this point by saying I had to push while on my back and that this is how all of our babies were born. WHAT did he just say?!? No, that’s not what I want at all; however at this point, I was too tired to fight it. We all moved to our bedroom. Caleb was standing next to me, and Erin stood on the other side on the bed. Christine and Rebekah at my feet. We went with the classic where Erin and Caleb held my legs while Christine did some tissue stretching and guided pushing…..and here comes this baby! Are you serious, I thought to myself?! I could feel baby moving down. I asked Erin and Caleb to hold my feet, and the next push I could really feel it. This part is relief to me. It doesn’t hurt like the complete contractions where I’m pushing with nothing happening. Rather, relief. We have come to the conclusion that I actually do have an odd shaped or smaller pubic bone. Therefore, it is helpful for me to push on my back. It makes sense, although it’s not what I wanted at all! The pushing I had been doing for hours was pushing the baby onto my pubic bone and not under it. Midwifery care takes this aspect into consideration, and neither of my hospital births did. Both Jett and this baby would have been caesarean births in a typical hospital.
Now, as I was pushing this baby out of me, my midwives noticed a good bit of meconium; we needed to get baby out quickly. The baby had swallowed some of the meconium, but slid right on out with this contraction. My world slowed down a bit at this point. This baby was still laid upon my chest and as they looked for the bulb, baby was looking at me while having a little bit of a hard time breathing. I wanted to suck all that crap out myself but couldn’t roll up enough to do it. My midwives worked beautifully together to take care of baby while on my chest and connected to the placenta, which was still breathing for her and giving her the rest of her blood. In that moment, they earned every penny I had paid them. They worked it all out as it should be done. I’ll take that all day long over what happened with my first in the hospital when she had swallowed meconium – her cord was cut and they rushed her to the side sticking all kinds of tubes down her throat, which was scary to me as a first time mom.
I asked what sex is the baby as we did not know. Christine said she would let me find out. She slipped and called her a she when she had always been saying he; I knew then. I actually knew when I saw the red hair really. Here I was holding a 9 pound red headed baby girl! When you go over dates, babies get bigger, and meconium is also more likely. I also lost a lot of blood, but my midwives handled that beautifully too. We did not even need any Pitocin. They perfectly executed everything they are trained to do, and I trusted them to do that.
By the end of it all, I had pushed for over 6 hours. I was worn out, and I’ll never forget Christine telling me that I get the award for most stubborn. It’s not that I homebirth, but that I have tough labors and still choose to homebirth. Christine wanted us to get some rest. She hung around for several hours, cleaning and gathering up everything while we dozed in and out of sleep. It was hard taking my eyes off this precious baby girl that gave me a run for my money. I was that exhausted. I wasn’t in great physical shape, so I’m not even sure how I physically pushed for 6 hours. That is where my stubbornness comes in handy, I guess. Christine could not believe it when I said that next time we will have to start pushing on my back sooner. Ha! Could we mimic that pushing in the birth pool somehow? I’m still hoping to get that zen birth one day!
Owning My Birth 
Absolutely amazing and beautiful I love it thank you for sharing such a private moment in your life..
Thank you so much for sharing this I loved it you are a great mother and have a beautiful family