I really am having a hard time struggling with the fact that my state will not allow me to hire a professional midwife and birth my baby at home! Why is this such a hard concept? This is the way we have done things since the dawn of time and still is the norm in many countries – countries with much better mother/infant mortality rates than us by far. I can not really put into words how comfortable and safe I felt at home laboring with Eliza the night of July 25th and the morning of July 26th. Caleb slept next to me while I laid there on my side mentally telling myself to “open up” and to relax. It was in that space, in the dark and quietness of my own bedroom that I progressed to 8 cm. My contractions were coming every ten minutes or so and I would periodically get up and labor on the toilet, but I can not explain how comfortable I was. I was in the labor zone and it was a piece of cake. I know that had I had another hour or two of darkness, I would have ended up waking Caleb to get him to catch Eliza and our lives would be starkly different right now. Every piece of my body screams that at me on a daily basis and it is what my mommy gut has told me the entire time. When morning came and AdaRee woke up, I decided it was time to be assessed at the least. I honestly figured that I was at 4 cm or something given my experience with AdaRee. I am one of those moms who labors for a long time. It sucks, but it is what it is and I will sit over here and continue to be jealous of these moms who have labors that last less than 12 hours. It would have been absolutely perfect to have a skilled midwife come to check my progress and encourage me. Anything would have been better than what happened next.
My head space completely changed once I set foot in that hospital though. If I could go back, I would have just stayed home and more than likely we would have had an uneventful, but surely exciting “oops, we did not make it to the hospital in time” birth. You know, you have heard so many stories of babies being born on the way or as the mom is walking into the hospital and yet, I have seriously never heard of anything going wrong with these births. No meconium in their lungs, no breathing problems, nada, zilch…. Do you know what this says to me? Screams to me really! Maybe, just maybe it is all the crap that we pump moms full of that cause these issues. Well, let us consult ACOG on this one. I will refer to ACOG as the “horse’s mouth” from here on out because ACOG is The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and this is what they all go by, regardless of the fact that they don’t explain all side effects to you.
Well, there you have it straight from the horse’s mouth! These links actually make my stomach turn when I read them…. You should really take a moment to read all of that because they are not going to explain all that to you while you are in labor in the hospital.
Since becoming pregnant the first time, I have read so many birth stories. Since losing my daughter Eliza, many moms have reached out to me to share their traumatic and scary hospital birth stories. I have watched a million You Tube videos of different kinds of births. The conclusion that I have come to, especially since there is a lack of research on home births from this country, is that you do not hear of these issues happening that happen in hospitals when you birth at home. I have talked to many home birth moms around the world and not once have I heard of breathing problems or others issues. I do know one mom whose son was stillborn and even had she been in a hospital, there is nothing that could have been done for her son. From what I have heard and gathered from real life moms (most hospital births), home birth seems to be by far safer because nothing is interfering with the process that is birth and everything goes smoothly for the most part if you have an experienced and well trained midwife by your side. Well, it also happens without issue often times when you do not have a midwife as well. HA! Do the rest of you not see this as plainly as I do?
I barely missed a home birth recently and quite honestly, I will tell you that it was the most amazing thing I wish I had not missed. I could still feel the energy in the room and I felt nervous, but at home and in my element. I really want to get the laws changed and become a CPM myself. I truly feel that it’s my calling.
And let’s face it, why are we the only species that needs all this crap to birth our babies? I refuse to accept that! I believe God designed us to do this and sadly some get it easier than others, but none of us are ever the same, just like our fingerprints.
But bottom line, what I keep coming back to is how comfortable and safe I was when I was laboring at home with Eliza. That is what it should be like and that is what I need to have a safe and healing birth. No one should ever expect me to walk back into my local hospital for another birth after I lost Eliza there and really I do not want to walk into one at all, but it looks like I am probably going to have to drive to Atlanta. Knowing my luck, I will give birth in the car this time and wish I had just stayed home.