I struggled for a while not knowing what our birth plan for Jett would be, but I can not tell you how utterly relieved I am to finally have it figured out! I am not kidding when I tell you that I have put together an A team, and that this is the plan that my family needs. I cannot stress the word NEED enough. The only thing I would change is to actually be able to have him at home; however by making one sacrifice, we are at least closer to Dr. Bootstaylor, which makes a big difference–but I’ll get to that later.
Some people make may think I am absolutely off my rocker, because society has taught them to fear birth outside of the hospital. Yet if you have been through what I have been through and had to bury your baby–much less been a fly on the wall–you would never question any of this adventurous plan of ours. We know there has to be a much better way than either of our daughters’ births, and we are dead set on making that happen this time around.
First, Dr. Bootstaylor (a highly respected Perinatologist whose motto is “bring birth back”) is our “back up” doctor and we have officially hired one of the Georgia home birth midwives whom he backs up to attend Jett’s birth. She comes highly recommended, and we adore her, and there is trust as well which is what matters most. And then in my humble opinion, the most important part is my amazing doula whose sole purpose is to be there for me emotionally. She has been there for me through almost all of my journey and no one will know as much as she does about all of it. She has even supported me through my craziest ideas and inadvertently helped ground me when I needed it the most.
My greatest fear is being triggered back into the “bad head space” that stalled my labors out in the hospital to begin with. I feel that my doula is gonna probably be the only one who can help me past that if it happens. Well, having the complete opposite type of care and support will more than likely keep that from happening anyway. It is so vastly different so far, yet all of the same tests and what nots are happening. I will elaborate in another blog about the differences and similarities in care and treatment. We truly feel that we have come up with the best scenario that our family needs to have a safe and healing birth. It has had some large obstacles, but we have gotten creative…
Home away from home!! As many of you may have guessed already….
I can not deliver my baby at my home in Alabama with a Georgia midwife as you know by now, right? You are right, that is illegal! Jett will officially be a border baby thanks to Alabama state laws. I am not the only mom having a “border baby” as I know so many moms who are also having “border babies” too or using “illegal midwives”…mum is the word! Society will tell you that you need to be in a hospital. However, if you do the research by getting out there and talking to home birth moms and midwives, you will find that the statistics show that it is just as safe, if not safer. After having two perfect babies born and immediately taken away for reasons connected to the side effects of using labor drugs, I feel 110% that they are right. Seeing what I have been through, I know there has to be a better way. If I continue to be low risk and not have any issues, it seems completely logical to me that I should just let birth happen the way it was designed while I’m in a comfortable place with experienced women who know what to look for, what to do, or if you need to transfer to a hospital. Yes, simply let birth happen the way God designed it to happen which makes perfect sense to me. It seems to me that man was trying to improve on something that was already well-designed; slowly over time, we are learning more and more that we did things a certain way for thousands of years for a reason. Little by little, the side effects are getting more attention and one day society will see it….at least I hope! I am glad ACOG, “the horse’s mouth” has finally admitted that we should delay cord clamping! Little by little it’s coming, but they are stubborn…I am just way ahead of them already.
Now, I know there are great supportive hospitals out there, but they are few and far between around here. There are some great, supportive OBs out there too; yet most only practice one way to “birth your baby” and that is medical birth. This practice of medical birth results in many side effects and risks. You hear of all these full term babies being born with “breathing problems” and meconium in their lungs, but these things do not happen when babies are born without all the IVs and labor drugs. I cannot risk walking back into a hospital where I do not feel understood, much less supported, about what I want and ask. Instead, we have a plan.
This sums up the plan for now….again Dr. Bootstaylor is our “Back-up” doctor to our Georgia midwife. We will scope out all the RV parks along I-85 over the Georgia line and before Dekalb Medical and pick the best one for us to park our “Home Away from Home”. When I go into labor, the doula and midwife will come to our camper. My wish is to give birth to Jett peacefully and respectfully with a team of sympathetic women who will actually listen to what I am telling them. If perhaps something does not look good, we will be closer to Dr. Bootstaylor and can get to him quickly and he will welcome us with the respect and care we deserve – that everyone deserves, really.
Caleb is also planning to build me a birthing stool similar to this one, and I cannot wait to use it. I know in my heart that we have finally come to the best plan for our family to have a SAFE and HEALING birth that we all NEED in reality! We just know that there is a better way than what we have experienced before. We were also able to find a birthing pool that will fit in our travel trailer–hopefully it will go perfect next to the dinette/extra bed!
As parents, we can not wait to welcome baby Jett into our family!
NOTE TO JETT: You have no idea how much you are already loved, baby boy, and what you mean to us! Your oldest sister has already nicknamed you “Omelette” for some odd reason and constantly wants to snuggle you already–she loves you so much! I have a feeling that you already have a special and close relationship with Eliza and that she is watching over you carefully! Ahhh, can May just get here already?!?! But at the same time, I enjoy it every single time you kick me or poke my belly button. I truly can not wait to have you earth side!
Only 18 weeks to go, give or take….