Oh my! My rainbow, Baby Petty #3 is finally on the way!! It has truly been a long and hard road since the birth and death of our beloved second daughter Eliza. It is hard to put into words the pain of living what should have been her first year of life without her, most especially when it should have never even happened to begin with. In all honesty though, my husband and I had been trying to conceive ever since it happened. I truly think the stress and trauma of what I had been put through that day and for the months to come truly kept me from even ovulating. It was as if my body when into “fight or flight mode” and never left it until just after Eliza’s birthday. I’m pretty sure that if my body had been able to be pregnant, we would have been pregnant sooner. I had also gotten used to the negative pregnancy tests although they were extremely hard at first. This is all such hard to stuff to type right now…and there is just so much it overwhelms me. I have learned so much in the past year about my body and what it is capable of, but I have no idea where to start with this except maybe how we found out we where pregnant.
I really didn’t expect to fall pregnant that month and we had opened the infertility conversation with Dr. Bootstaylor – I’ll talk more about who he is later in it’s own separate blog. I had gone in for an ultrasound to make sure everything was still in place and looking good on a Friday. It was thank goodness! Dr. B made a few comments that stuck with my mom and we left to head home. I had already ordered my cheapie ovulation and pregnancy tests on Amazon and they were supposed to get there Monday. Saturday morning I would have been 8-9 days past ovulation and my breasts were tender, which has always been the first thing I noticed. I knew that it might be too early to test, but I looked at Caleb and asked him if he wanted to run to Wal-Mart for a couple of their cheapies since I didn’t want to wait till Monday at this point. Yes, the cheap tests are just the same as the name brand ones, so don’t waste your money ladies! Well, the digital ones are a different kinda fun, but I digress…
And there it is….the faintest line showed up!!! Oh my! I wasn’t prepared for this really. I certainly wanted it badly, but I was kinda shocked. I had to get Caleb to look and sure enough, I didn’t have line eyes and was not just imagining things. I shared it with a close friend and doula for another opinion too and it was confirmed that it was in fact, a positive. Even a faint line that shows up within the time limits of the test means there is HCG in there and HCG means only one thing and that’s PREGNANT. Now, there’s trouble in knowing so early because I still had a few days till when my period would have shown up, so I ended up with this….
Miscarriage is common and I was terrified, but those lines kept getting darker! Still am terrified honestly, but I’m just gonna enjoy every minute of this pregnancy and every minute that I know I’m carrying life inside of me. Barefoot and pregnant…..that’s me and thank goodness my husband likes me that way! Dr. B let us come in for an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and baby Petty #3 was measuring just right where I knew she/he should be. We even got to hear and see the heartbeat at not quite 8 weeks along and it was the most comfortable – and swanky – experience we’ve ever had with an early ultrasound. I won’t get into the horrible experiences we had in Lee county with them every time, but they can’t even compare to what we experienced at See Baby. I will try to vlog part of a prenatal visit so y’all can see exactly what I’m talking about.
I know that I have so much to say and share with women because to me feminism is more about knowing who we are as women and about all the amazing things that our bodies can do. I think we have lost a lot of knowledge over the last years and I vow now to truly teach my daughters about their bodies and all that they can do. I am woman and I am strong. Here is to planning the SAFE and healing birth that I truly NEED. I am 10 weeks along today which means I’m already 25% of the way through which is crazy to think about! My world completely changed from that first positive pregnancy test. I am not scared because I know exactly what not to do this time.